Another month come and gone...

Some people live their lives by the day, the week, but me... I live mine by the month. At least I count them by the months. Because each month brings me new hope. I don't know how after 36 months when a new one starts I still hold out hope that maybe THIS will be MY month. You probably wouldn't understand this unless you have suffered through some type of infertility before. But since we don't have a solid diagnosis on why we haven't gotten pregnant, I hold the hope that it happened before and it can happen again.

So the IUI obviously failed... again. That makes two but we are learning I guess, learning the right timing... at least I am. My last cycle produced about 7 "good" sized follicles which turn into eggs if released and if they aren't released, fill up with fluid and turn into cysts. I was so hopeful that out of 7 surely we would get at least one! Nope, instead I ended up with probably half a dozen cysts on my ovaries. I knew they were there, I could feel them. Suddenly I would get a sharp stabbing pain that would last a few minutes on either side just inside from my hip bone - right where the ovary sits. So the doctor put me on birth control to get rid of the cysts and take a month off from the IUI as to not make it worse or cause more.

When I go back to the doctor we will discuss the surgery for endometriosis again. He didn't seem sure he was going to do it but said if it was causing pain he was open to it. And I just know its back so I am going to push for it. I want to start fresh, a whole cycle where I don't have to wonder at the end if THAT was the reason it didn't happen. I am about a week away from seeing the doctor again and I still feel that stabbing pain in the ovaries.. I really hope the cysts are gone. I hope new ones didn't create this month, clomid can stay in the system for a few months afterwards and that is what caused them in the first place.

So because of all that I quit my job at JCP. It was getting too hard and stressful to try and guess ahead of time what days I would need to be taking off to head down to san antonio when they would tell me just one or two days ahead of time. So it was causing me to have to call in too much. I feel so much better not having to worry about working and I am still making money too! I am selling things around the house, had a garage sale in which I made over $300 in two days, a lot more than I was making at JCP! And I am still selling Mary Kay. I am going to try and broaden that business now that I have more time to do so.

Oh yeah and to top all that off. I go to see the orthopedic doctor this week to do an MRI probably and tell me that yes, I need surgery... AGAIN... this will make the 3rd time on that knee and 5th all together.