Thursday, December 11, 2008
CHRISTmas spirit!!
I love this time of year. All the lights, all the decorated trees, all the holiday cheer. I have my house decorated and finally got the lights up on the outside of the house - thanks Tiff for your help!
I love CHRISTmas time. I hate when people write X-mas, call me old fashion but why do we have to try and save 1 second of writing or typing by taking Christ out of it. After all HE is the reason for this season!
I have mailed out half of my Christmas cards. The other half I am trying to find my box full of them so I don't have to buy some more. For some reason they weren't with all the decorations! So if you haven't already please leave me your address here so I can send you one. And if you would like to send us one here is our address.
Sergio and Rachel Hernandez
PSC 103 BOX 3267
APO AE 09603
Sending us a card will only cost one regular stamp, there are no extra fees even though we are in Italy.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and let's not forget the reason for the season. Christmas is Jesus' birthday and the main gift is salvation. We are all sinners and without a savior we are lost and going to Hell. His gift is free and all we have to do is accept it. It's so simple, yet so many people don't reach out and take it. It costs nothing, it takes little effort and it will change your life forever! I am so thankful that God gave this gift to us and we will never forget that JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THIS SEASON.
Showing posts with label 2008. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2008. Show all posts
Saturday, November 21, 2009
This Holiday Season
Saturday, November 08, 2008
This holiday season.
Category: Life
This holiday season is going to be just as nice as last I am sure! Last Thanksgiving my grandparents were here and it was really nice to be with family. This Thanksgiving my mom and sister will be here and its going to be great to get to show them around.
What we have planned for them:
They arrive on November 18th around 2pm our time.
That week after they get over the initial jetlag we will show them around the area - the base - the natural springs - Lake Barcis and Piancavallo and maybe some of the local castles.
November 24th-26th we are headed to Garmisch Germany! Where we will be staying at Eidlewiess Lodge and Resort. While there we will shop the Christmas markets and drive the hour to Munich to show them around that beautiful town! We will also stop at the Christmas market there!!
Then Thanksgiving time!! Tiffany - I think our plans have changed, Sergio heard some new news. So I don't know if we will just hang out here or what yet. Either way it will work out alright. That night we will get to put up our tree and all our Christmas deco!! Can't wait. I love the Christmas season.
We will also have a little Christmas here with my mom and sister and just give them what we bought - nothing big just a few things we picked up here and there. My moms gift I have had for so long, I just decided Christmas was a good time for it!
We also are going to put a trip to Venice in there somewhere, since that is an easy trip.
Another place they would like to visit is Verona, that one is pretty easy too so we will do that as well.
As for Christmas we decided that we are not buying gifts for each other, we are going to save the money from doing Christmas and our Anniversary and instead try to go to Paris for New Years and call that Christmas and our Anniversary.... Sounds good to me!!
This holiday season.
Category: Life
This holiday season is going to be just as nice as last I am sure! Last Thanksgiving my grandparents were here and it was really nice to be with family. This Thanksgiving my mom and sister will be here and its going to be great to get to show them around.
What we have planned for them:
They arrive on November 18th around 2pm our time.
That week after they get over the initial jetlag we will show them around the area - the base - the natural springs - Lake Barcis and Piancavallo and maybe some of the local castles.
November 24th-26th we are headed to Garmisch Germany! Where we will be staying at Eidlewiess Lodge and Resort. While there we will shop the Christmas markets and drive the hour to Munich to show them around that beautiful town! We will also stop at the Christmas market there!!
Then Thanksgiving time!! Tiffany - I think our plans have changed, Sergio heard some new news. So I don't know if we will just hang out here or what yet. Either way it will work out alright. That night we will get to put up our tree and all our Christmas deco!! Can't wait. I love the Christmas season.
We will also have a little Christmas here with my mom and sister and just give them what we bought - nothing big just a few things we picked up here and there. My moms gift I have had for so long, I just decided Christmas was a good time for it!
We also are going to put a trip to Venice in there somewhere, since that is an easy trip.
Another place they would like to visit is Verona, that one is pretty easy too so we will do that as well.
As for Christmas we decided that we are not buying gifts for each other, we are going to save the money from doing Christmas and our Anniversary and instead try to go to Paris for New Years and call that Christmas and our Anniversary.... Sounds good to me!!
Friday, November 20, 2009
We survived Oktoberfest!
Monday, September 29, 2008
We survived Oktoberfest!
Ok, so WOW. I will start with that. The bus ride wasn't bad. Of course everyone was getting drunk on the ride up, some were already drunk when they got on the bus, but it was all good. No one puked so I was good! There was beer and wine and snacks on the bus, included in the trip. I slept most of the way there. We stopped for breakfast at about 5am and then changed and freshened up for the day. We then drove a little more and got to Oktoberfest probably around 7am, it was pretty early so the time may be a little off. We were told to push, shove and claw our way to the front and into the tent. The only way to get served was to be sitting at a table and it gets packed fast! So we waited for about an hour and a half until the doors opened, probably longer because they didn't open the doors right at 8:30 like they were supposed to. Luckily we had chosen the right doors to stand infront of even though there were a ton of people ahead of us, we were pretty close to the front.
So we knew it would be bad but we didn't expect what was coming next. Me, Mason and Tiffany locked arms. Sergio and a few others headed to get closer, Nick was near us. When the doors opened immediatley whistles started blowing from the security guards and instantly we were being crushed. And I don't mean just pushed up against people, I mean CRUSHED! So tights that I could almost not breath, so tight that I felt my ribs being pushed together and waiting for them to crack any minute. You just cannot imagine unless you are in the midst of it. So they shut again fast. Sergio and a few others from our group made it in at that point. Me and Mason had gotten separated but I was still holding onto Tiffany. We were then being pushed to the only door they had open now. They were letting people in one at a time, of a mob of thousands! Literally! We were really close, yet stuck behind the security guards backs and trying to get around them to get in their sight so they would push us through the door. Well, a big guy was next to me literally pushing all his weight against me out of his way to get around the guard, which he did, I was able to get close enough to the guards side that he seen me and literally pulled me, I was still trying to hold onto Tiffany but we were cut off by other people instantly, and they literally pushed me through the door and once in about 3 more guards on either side grabbed me and pulled me in the doors and out of the way. Tiffany came in just a few seconds later and then followed by Mason.
You just can't believe how crazy it was unless you go. But a lot of fun. I will post more of the days events later. Until then, check out the pictures I am going to post and videos to come as well.
We survived Oktoberfest!
Ok, so WOW. I will start with that. The bus ride wasn't bad. Of course everyone was getting drunk on the ride up, some were already drunk when they got on the bus, but it was all good. No one puked so I was good! There was beer and wine and snacks on the bus, included in the trip. I slept most of the way there. We stopped for breakfast at about 5am and then changed and freshened up for the day. We then drove a little more and got to Oktoberfest probably around 7am, it was pretty early so the time may be a little off. We were told to push, shove and claw our way to the front and into the tent. The only way to get served was to be sitting at a table and it gets packed fast! So we waited for about an hour and a half until the doors opened, probably longer because they didn't open the doors right at 8:30 like they were supposed to. Luckily we had chosen the right doors to stand infront of even though there were a ton of people ahead of us, we were pretty close to the front.
So we knew it would be bad but we didn't expect what was coming next. Me, Mason and Tiffany locked arms. Sergio and a few others headed to get closer, Nick was near us. When the doors opened immediatley whistles started blowing from the security guards and instantly we were being crushed. And I don't mean just pushed up against people, I mean CRUSHED! So tights that I could almost not breath, so tight that I felt my ribs being pushed together and waiting for them to crack any minute. You just cannot imagine unless you are in the midst of it. So they shut again fast. Sergio and a few others from our group made it in at that point. Me and Mason had gotten separated but I was still holding onto Tiffany. We were then being pushed to the only door they had open now. They were letting people in one at a time, of a mob of thousands! Literally! We were really close, yet stuck behind the security guards backs and trying to get around them to get in their sight so they would push us through the door. Well, a big guy was next to me literally pushing all his weight against me out of his way to get around the guard, which he did, I was able to get close enough to the guards side that he seen me and literally pulled me, I was still trying to hold onto Tiffany but we were cut off by other people instantly, and they literally pushed me through the door and once in about 3 more guards on either side grabbed me and pulled me in the doors and out of the way. Tiffany came in just a few seconds later and then followed by Mason.
You just can't believe how crazy it was unless you go. But a lot of fun. I will post more of the days events later. Until then, check out the pictures I am going to post and videos to come as well.
Coming to visit!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Coming to visit!!!
My sister and mom are coming to visit. Their flighs have been booked! I am so excited. They have been wanting to come since we got here and now are able to!! My mom has never really gotten to travel and the closest she has gotten to a real vacation since she was a child was weekend getaways. I can't wait to show them around Italy and we are even going to try to go to Germany while they are here and definatley going to take them to Rome, which we still haven't been to.
Sergio got an email about a cruise to Egypt that he wants to take them to, which sounds amazing! But its like 800 euro a person so that is out of the question.
Hopefully we can do a trip to Eidleweiss while they are here, its in Germany.
They are leaving Detroit November 17th, getting here early on November 18th and will be here until December 8th. We are finally going to be able to do some travelling over here. Its not very often in your life you can say that you can tour Europe so we are taking full advantage of it while here.
So although we really miss everyone back in the states, time here is going fast and we want to take advantage of it, since as my husband says "The states aren't going anywhere". If any of you would like to come and visit you are more than welcome, you have a rare opportunity to say that you went to Italy and didn't have to pay to stay at a hotel - stay with us! Just the cost of a flight which right now is pretty reasonable! If you are in the military or a military dependant even cheaper flying on the AMC flight which flies from Baltimore straight onto our flightline here!! Come and visit us for only $40 round trip!! That isn't a typo, Forty!! Straight in, flight stops in Germany but comes right here, they won't let you on if they can't get you all the way here in the same day!
Coming to visit!!!
My sister and mom are coming to visit. Their flighs have been booked! I am so excited. They have been wanting to come since we got here and now are able to!! My mom has never really gotten to travel and the closest she has gotten to a real vacation since she was a child was weekend getaways. I can't wait to show them around Italy and we are even going to try to go to Germany while they are here and definatley going to take them to Rome, which we still haven't been to.
Sergio got an email about a cruise to Egypt that he wants to take them to, which sounds amazing! But its like 800 euro a person so that is out of the question.
Hopefully we can do a trip to Eidleweiss while they are here, its in Germany.
They are leaving Detroit November 17th, getting here early on November 18th and will be here until December 8th. We are finally going to be able to do some travelling over here. Its not very often in your life you can say that you can tour Europe so we are taking full advantage of it while here.
So although we really miss everyone back in the states, time here is going fast and we want to take advantage of it, since as my husband says "The states aren't going anywhere". If any of you would like to come and visit you are more than welcome, you have a rare opportunity to say that you went to Italy and didn't have to pay to stay at a hotel - stay with us! Just the cost of a flight which right now is pretty reasonable! If you are in the military or a military dependant even cheaper flying on the AMC flight which flies from Baltimore straight onto our flightline here!! Come and visit us for only $40 round trip!! That isn't a typo, Forty!! Straight in, flight stops in Germany but comes right here, they won't let you on if they can't get you all the way here in the same day!
This weekend
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
This weekend
We will be gone this weekend. We are headed for Munich, Germany to go to Oktoberfest. We are going with people from Sergio's work. Taking a bus up there and staying over night. We will be leaving here at abou 8pm, meeting at a restaurant in town, then spending the night on the bus. We will get in Munich very early, like 6:30am on Saturday and then that night stay in a hotel and leave to come back here on Sunday. I am really looking forward to it! We haven't been to Germany yet so it should be fun!!
A single Airman from the church will be staying at our house and watching the animals for us. Its a great offer for him since he can get out of the dorms and be in a house setting for a few nights.
Check back after the weekend for the pictures!
This weekend
We will be gone this weekend. We are headed for Munich, Germany to go to Oktoberfest. We are going with people from Sergio's work. Taking a bus up there and staying over night. We will be leaving here at abou 8pm, meeting at a restaurant in town, then spending the night on the bus. We will get in Munich very early, like 6:30am on Saturday and then that night stay in a hotel and leave to come back here on Sunday. I am really looking forward to it! We haven't been to Germany yet so it should be fun!!
A single Airman from the church will be staying at our house and watching the animals for us. Its a great offer for him since he can get out of the dorms and be in a house setting for a few nights.
Check back after the weekend for the pictures!
Whats new with you?
Monday, September 08, 2008
Whats new with you?
Category: Life
Well what's new with us? The puppies are now 7 weeks old and they all have a home, we do still have two, Dakota who is being picked up on the 15th (girl) and Elvis who we have been watching for a few days to see if Lillian is allergic to him. He is going back home Tuesday. They have been a lot of fun but a lot of work!! Overall it was a good experience and we will do it again next year. Next liter we will be keeping one for sure! Skye is losing all of her hair! I feel so bad for her, we are going to have a hairless husky!!
We are going to Oktoberfest the weekend of the 26th of this month. Its in Germany of course. We are taking a bus there overnight and getting there about 6:30am then that night we will stay in a hotel and leave sometime the next morning. Nick and Tiffany are going with us. I am really looking forward to it!
We also have been kicking around the idea of going to Ireland July 2009 probably over the 4th. I can't wait for that either. It will be a lot of fun! Also coming up is another trip to the beach - I just hope its not closed... I heard that it closes, who ever heard of a beach closing?
Last night we had a twister come through and touch down on base, that caused a lot of damage! So many uprooted and broken trees all over and building lost shingles and it even ripped up some concrete and the cart returns in the BX parking lot. Not to mention the half a port-a-potty that was in the parking lot. The golf course is tore up as well really bad! The huge tree infront of the hotel that they light up and decorate at Christmas time broke in half. It was beautiful last year! Sergio said at work today they spent all day cleaning up. Walking the parimiter (sp?) of the base and picking up debris from all over. I am sure they all had a lot of clean up duty on the flightline as its not safe for the jets. I wonder if they had to delay flying because of it? I watched it go right around our house. The sky was crazy! Behind our house it was beautiful like nothing was going on and to the mountains it was dark and gloomy!
Heres the videos outside my house, putting the links in here is not working so I will just give you the direct links.
Video of sky
another video of sky
Direct links below
http://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k197/chachel_02/?action=view¤t=MOV02754.flvhttp://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k197/chachel_02/?action=view¤t=MOV02751.flvOther than that, not much is new!
Whats new with you?
Category: Life
Well what's new with us? The puppies are now 7 weeks old and they all have a home, we do still have two, Dakota who is being picked up on the 15th (girl) and Elvis who we have been watching for a few days to see if Lillian is allergic to him. He is going back home Tuesday. They have been a lot of fun but a lot of work!! Overall it was a good experience and we will do it again next year. Next liter we will be keeping one for sure! Skye is losing all of her hair! I feel so bad for her, we are going to have a hairless husky!!
We are going to Oktoberfest the weekend of the 26th of this month. Its in Germany of course. We are taking a bus there overnight and getting there about 6:30am then that night we will stay in a hotel and leave sometime the next morning. Nick and Tiffany are going with us. I am really looking forward to it!
We also have been kicking around the idea of going to Ireland July 2009 probably over the 4th. I can't wait for that either. It will be a lot of fun! Also coming up is another trip to the beach - I just hope its not closed... I heard that it closes, who ever heard of a beach closing?
Last night we had a twister come through and touch down on base, that caused a lot of damage! So many uprooted and broken trees all over and building lost shingles and it even ripped up some concrete and the cart returns in the BX parking lot. Not to mention the half a port-a-potty that was in the parking lot. The golf course is tore up as well really bad! The huge tree infront of the hotel that they light up and decorate at Christmas time broke in half. It was beautiful last year! Sergio said at work today they spent all day cleaning up. Walking the parimiter (sp?) of the base and picking up debris from all over. I am sure they all had a lot of clean up duty on the flightline as its not safe for the jets. I wonder if they had to delay flying because of it? I watched it go right around our house. The sky was crazy! Behind our house it was beautiful like nothing was going on and to the mountains it was dark and gloomy!
Heres the videos outside my house, putting the links in here is not working so I will just give you the direct links.
Video of sky
another video of sky
Direct links below
http://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k197/chachel_02/?action=view¤t=MOV02754.flvhttp://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k197/chachel_02/?action=view¤t=MOV02751.flvOther than that, not much is new!
...No title...
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
...No title...
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Blogging
September 3, 2008, the due date we had. Its hard to believe this day is already here. Its hard to imagine what would have been. So all we ask is for your prayers. Here are some thoughts, a poem I guess. You don't have to respond if you don't know what to say. I understand, I just wrote this for myself, to get some feelings out and make a tribute to the day.
We didn't have to see your face to know that you were beautiful,
We didn't have to feel you kick to know that you were real,
We didn't have to hear your laugh for you to give us joy,
We didn't get to hold you, but know someday we will.
We didn't get to send you off to school or prom or college or see you get married to miss you.
We will never get to teach you to talk or walk or anything else mommys and daddys do but we still loved you.
We didn't even get to hear your heartbeat but we know that you were and you are our little baby.
We can rest in knowing that although we can't kiss you goodnight, Jesus does.
One day we will see you you smile, talk to you, kiss you and hold you.
Until then little one we will be missing you.
...No title...
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Blogging
September 3, 2008, the due date we had. Its hard to believe this day is already here. Its hard to imagine what would have been. So all we ask is for your prayers. Here are some thoughts, a poem I guess. You don't have to respond if you don't know what to say. I understand, I just wrote this for myself, to get some feelings out and make a tribute to the day.
We didn't have to see your face to know that you were beautiful,
We didn't have to feel you kick to know that you were real,
We didn't have to hear your laugh for you to give us joy,
We didn't get to hold you, but know someday we will.
We didn't get to send you off to school or prom or college or see you get married to miss you.
We will never get to teach you to talk or walk or anything else mommys and daddys do but we still loved you.
We didn't even get to hear your heartbeat but we know that you were and you are our little baby.
We can rest in knowing that although we can't kiss you goodnight, Jesus does.
One day we will see you you smile, talk to you, kiss you and hold you.
Until then little one we will be missing you.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
If you have been wondering...
Category: Life
Well as just about all of you know, we have been trying to get pregnant again after the miscarriage. Back in Feb when I had the D&C's the doctor told me to wait two full cycles before trying again. That was in April. Well we have been trying since April and back then, I thought I didn't care when it happened as long as it was before September. Once again as most of you know that would have been my due date. Well, here we are August 27th and AF showed up today. So it doesn't look like I made that mark! I am exhausted month after month getting negatives. Now I know that I haven't been at it as long as some people have. And I give you guys a lot of props for sticking with it year after year. I think I am ready to take a break from TTC.
Sergio had two resolutions for this year. One to have a healthy baby - that should have happened this September 3. The second to make Staff, and as some of you know he missed that by .63 of a point. This year has brought a lot of disappointments for us. The one good thing that came out of this year is our new neighbors. Good friends moved into our neighborhood - Tiffany and Nick, Emily and Mike and Deena and Daniel. Emily had Baylie! and we had 6 puppies. So for now I am thinking I am done TTC until Thanksgiving/Christmas time. Which is when it happened last time. I dont really want the same due date but that just seems like a less stressful time of the year for us. So we will see what happens!
If you have been wondering...
Category: Life
Well as just about all of you know, we have been trying to get pregnant again after the miscarriage. Back in Feb when I had the D&C's the doctor told me to wait two full cycles before trying again. That was in April. Well we have been trying since April and back then, I thought I didn't care when it happened as long as it was before September. Once again as most of you know that would have been my due date. Well, here we are August 27th and AF showed up today. So it doesn't look like I made that mark! I am exhausted month after month getting negatives. Now I know that I haven't been at it as long as some people have. And I give you guys a lot of props for sticking with it year after year. I think I am ready to take a break from TTC.
Sergio had two resolutions for this year. One to have a healthy baby - that should have happened this September 3. The second to make Staff, and as some of you know he missed that by .63 of a point. This year has brought a lot of disappointments for us. The one good thing that came out of this year is our new neighbors. Good friends moved into our neighborhood - Tiffany and Nick, Emily and Mike and Deena and Daniel. Emily had Baylie! and we had 6 puppies. So for now I am thinking I am done TTC until Thanksgiving/Christmas time. Which is when it happened last time. I dont really want the same due date but that just seems like a less stressful time of the year for us. So we will see what happens!
Wake me up when September Ends
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Wake me up when September Ends
Current mood: discontent
Category: Writing and Poetry
Well some days are better than others. September 3rd is approaching fast and as most of you know that was our due date. When I first got pregnant I was suprised at how fast it happened, it seemed like it took no effort at all. Counting the weeks until the first ultrasound seemed to drag on and on. Finally I hit the 10 week mark, after waiting 6 weeks from when I found out I was pregnant we were finally going to get to go see our little one and hear its heart beat. Sergio had just gotten back from TDY and we were nervous and excited.
To me something just didn't feel right. I had a hard time believing that I was actually pregnant the entire time but a lot of people feel that way before seeing the ultrasound. I kept telling myself, "you have all the symptoms, the tests all say yes and you still haven't had any bleeding or cramping." But when I really started to think about it... I wasn't waking up at 4am hungry anymore, I was only getting up once in the middle of the night to pee instead of 3 times and my stomach wasn't getting upset after eating, but my boobs were still very sore and so I convinced myself everything was probably ok. I even thought about cancelling my long awaited ultrasound that morning because I was so nervous.
We got to the doctors office and had an appointment the same time as my friend who was finding out the sex of her baby. The doctor got me all set up and started the ultrasound machine up. He was having some trouble with it, someone changed a setting and he was trying to get the screen to come back up. I was holding Sergio's hand and I glanced over to see him smiling at me. Then the screen came on and the doctor felt my cervix and said "How far along did you say you were?" I replied "Almost 11 weeks". He said "well I don't think that is quite accurate but we will be sure in a minute". I knew when my last period was so I knew for sure how far along I was but for a brief moment I dismissed the thought that maybe he meant I wasn't that far along and maybe he was meaning that I could have been farther along than I thought, that would have been ok with me. When the screen showed up and I seen my uterus on the screen the doctor swooped from one side to the other, back again, and forward again. I was watching his reaction as well as the monitor and I seen the look on his face change... I knew... the doubts I had all along were right. He looked up and said "I am so sorry, no one should ever have to hear this, but I am afriad you have what is the start of a miscarriage." He got teary eyed too and handed me a box of klenex. I wasn't crying yet, I was holding it in.
Even though its what I had feared I was still in shock from hearing it out loud. He got up and asked us to take our time and then meet him in his office, then he left. I still couldn't cry. I wanted to but I couldn't let it out. Sergio had no clue, he didn't know the thoughts I had in my mind the whole time. I didn't want to worry him with my insecurities, I had hoped they would turn out to be wrong. We walked into his office where now I was wiping my nose that had started to run but the tears wouldn't flow quite yet. He was asking questions and explaining when might have happened. He found the empty sac still attached and where the placenta started to break away but no baby. He said that the egg fertilized, implanted and started to grow, stopping early, probably 5 weeks. But the placenta continued to grow and so did my uterus and the symptoms continued because the placenta was releasing HCG and so my body still thought it was pregnant 5 weeks after the baby had stopped growing. So I was losing symptoms because the HCG had hit its peak and was now falling.
We were walking out to the front desk and at this point all I wanted to do was leave but the doctor told me I needed to go down to the lab to get blood drawn to check my levels. I walked out and seen my friend waiting for me after her appointment. I looked away, I couldn't look at her because I knew I would burst out crying and I just wanted to get out of there. I went down to the lab where they took blood and left. We got into the car and then the tears came streaming down and lasted the rest of the day.
Our phone was ringing so much because everyone knew we were going for the first ultrasound and they all wanted to see pictures and hear all about it. I had a picture, a picture of my empty uterus... and telling them all was the hardest part.
I went back to the doctors two days later to get my blood drawn again to check the levels, then I seen the doctor. Sure enough my levels were dropping. The day of the ultrasound they were at 28,000 just two days later they dropped to 23,000. The doctor gave me my options. Since I was past the 9 week mark I could get a D&C, I could wait and let it happen naturally or I could take a pill that would cause an "abortion". The doctor told me not to freak out when I heard that term. A miscarriage is often called a "spontaneous abortion" by medical professionals. Anway, I had heard the pill makes you feel like you are in labor and the Dr agreed, it does in fact put you into labor for your body to expel everything. I had waited already this long and didn't want to wait anymore, and so I knew what I wanted done. I told him I wanted a D&C and I didn't need to go home and think about it. He scheduled it for the next day.
You probably know the story after that, if not I have a blog about my D&Cs and the complication with the first and my ER trip.
Anyway, somedays I just feel like going to sleep and not waking up until September is over. Now that its almost here it feels like it has flown by. I was really hoping that I would at least be pregnant again by now to take away some of the sting of the day. I guess I still have this month left for that. If it happened this month I will find out exactley one week before Sept 3.
I will need your prayers, I have a feeling its going to be a tough day.
Wake me up when September ends....
Wake me up when September Ends
Current mood: discontent
Category: Writing and Poetry
Well some days are better than others. September 3rd is approaching fast and as most of you know that was our due date. When I first got pregnant I was suprised at how fast it happened, it seemed like it took no effort at all. Counting the weeks until the first ultrasound seemed to drag on and on. Finally I hit the 10 week mark, after waiting 6 weeks from when I found out I was pregnant we were finally going to get to go see our little one and hear its heart beat. Sergio had just gotten back from TDY and we were nervous and excited.
To me something just didn't feel right. I had a hard time believing that I was actually pregnant the entire time but a lot of people feel that way before seeing the ultrasound. I kept telling myself, "you have all the symptoms, the tests all say yes and you still haven't had any bleeding or cramping." But when I really started to think about it... I wasn't waking up at 4am hungry anymore, I was only getting up once in the middle of the night to pee instead of 3 times and my stomach wasn't getting upset after eating, but my boobs were still very sore and so I convinced myself everything was probably ok. I even thought about cancelling my long awaited ultrasound that morning because I was so nervous.
We got to the doctors office and had an appointment the same time as my friend who was finding out the sex of her baby. The doctor got me all set up and started the ultrasound machine up. He was having some trouble with it, someone changed a setting and he was trying to get the screen to come back up. I was holding Sergio's hand and I glanced over to see him smiling at me. Then the screen came on and the doctor felt my cervix and said "How far along did you say you were?" I replied "Almost 11 weeks". He said "well I don't think that is quite accurate but we will be sure in a minute". I knew when my last period was so I knew for sure how far along I was but for a brief moment I dismissed the thought that maybe he meant I wasn't that far along and maybe he was meaning that I could have been farther along than I thought, that would have been ok with me. When the screen showed up and I seen my uterus on the screen the doctor swooped from one side to the other, back again, and forward again. I was watching his reaction as well as the monitor and I seen the look on his face change... I knew... the doubts I had all along were right. He looked up and said "I am so sorry, no one should ever have to hear this, but I am afriad you have what is the start of a miscarriage." He got teary eyed too and handed me a box of klenex. I wasn't crying yet, I was holding it in.
Even though its what I had feared I was still in shock from hearing it out loud. He got up and asked us to take our time and then meet him in his office, then he left. I still couldn't cry. I wanted to but I couldn't let it out. Sergio had no clue, he didn't know the thoughts I had in my mind the whole time. I didn't want to worry him with my insecurities, I had hoped they would turn out to be wrong. We walked into his office where now I was wiping my nose that had started to run but the tears wouldn't flow quite yet. He was asking questions and explaining when might have happened. He found the empty sac still attached and where the placenta started to break away but no baby. He said that the egg fertilized, implanted and started to grow, stopping early, probably 5 weeks. But the placenta continued to grow and so did my uterus and the symptoms continued because the placenta was releasing HCG and so my body still thought it was pregnant 5 weeks after the baby had stopped growing. So I was losing symptoms because the HCG had hit its peak and was now falling.
We were walking out to the front desk and at this point all I wanted to do was leave but the doctor told me I needed to go down to the lab to get blood drawn to check my levels. I walked out and seen my friend waiting for me after her appointment. I looked away, I couldn't look at her because I knew I would burst out crying and I just wanted to get out of there. I went down to the lab where they took blood and left. We got into the car and then the tears came streaming down and lasted the rest of the day.
Our phone was ringing so much because everyone knew we were going for the first ultrasound and they all wanted to see pictures and hear all about it. I had a picture, a picture of my empty uterus... and telling them all was the hardest part.
I went back to the doctors two days later to get my blood drawn again to check the levels, then I seen the doctor. Sure enough my levels were dropping. The day of the ultrasound they were at 28,000 just two days later they dropped to 23,000. The doctor gave me my options. Since I was past the 9 week mark I could get a D&C, I could wait and let it happen naturally or I could take a pill that would cause an "abortion". The doctor told me not to freak out when I heard that term. A miscarriage is often called a "spontaneous abortion" by medical professionals. Anway, I had heard the pill makes you feel like you are in labor and the Dr agreed, it does in fact put you into labor for your body to expel everything. I had waited already this long and didn't want to wait anymore, and so I knew what I wanted done. I told him I wanted a D&C and I didn't need to go home and think about it. He scheduled it for the next day.
You probably know the story after that, if not I have a blog about my D&Cs and the complication with the first and my ER trip.
Anyway, somedays I just feel like going to sleep and not waking up until September is over. Now that its almost here it feels like it has flown by. I was really hoping that I would at least be pregnant again by now to take away some of the sting of the day. I guess I still have this month left for that. If it happened this month I will find out exactley one week before Sept 3.
I will need your prayers, I have a feeling its going to be a tough day.
Wake me up when September ends....
Been a while - Update
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Been a while - Update
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Life
Well I haven't written a blog in a while and thought I would update you all on whats going on in our side of the world.
Skye had her puppies - check out the pics - they are 2 weeks old today! Wow they have changed and grown so much and so fast. Its amazing. The birth was amazing as well. We had a long day but it was well worth it in the end to see the 6 beautiful babies. Her and Kodi make cute kids! The only problem was with the firstborn. When Skye was chewing off the umbilical cord she got his two middle toes on his back foot too. The vet says he will be just fine and he is the biggest and strongest of them all. He is a little fighter. Daniel and Deena are taking him and Deena is already in love with him. I would love to keep one but now is not a good time. We are talking about breeding her again and then keeping one at that time. Their eyes are all open and they are starting to walk - so cute!
We are planning on travelling more while we are here. We haven't really been able to do a whole lot of that in the year we have been here and that year went by pretty fast so I imagine the next two will fly by as well. Next on the list of places to see is Croatia, Germany, Rome, Florence and Pisa and we have been talking to friends trying to plan a trip to Ireland as well, so that should be a lot of fun!
Sergio is on mids, he was on mids for a short time back in November and this is the first he has been on that shift since. Its not so bad. I like him being on swings the best but this one is ok. Neither of us likes days so its working out.
I am still doing Partylite, July was a busy month for me with it and I did pretty good. August is starting off slow but we will see what happens. I am not too worried about having a lot of shows. I will take what I get, its pretty fun so that is all that matters.
I am hosting a Tupperware party on Friday, that is right... the stuff your mom bought when you were a kid and still has because it lasts forever!! So if you want to place an order let me know! The sweet tall plastic cups are on sale, 12 of them for $24. $2 a cup - can't beat that!
As far as going back to the states... I have no idea when or if that will happen. There are some deployments on the calendar in the near future and so that will prevent Sergio from coming back. He would rather spend the money travelling over here in Europe anyway then spending it going back to the states... which is very smart actually. We only have 2 years left and the states aren't going anywhere. As much as I miss everyone back home we need to take advantage of being over here.
Well, I miss you all and can't wait to hear from you!
Check out all the great pictures...
Been a while - Update
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Life
Well I haven't written a blog in a while and thought I would update you all on whats going on in our side of the world.
Skye had her puppies - check out the pics - they are 2 weeks old today! Wow they have changed and grown so much and so fast. Its amazing. The birth was amazing as well. We had a long day but it was well worth it in the end to see the 6 beautiful babies. Her and Kodi make cute kids! The only problem was with the firstborn. When Skye was chewing off the umbilical cord she got his two middle toes on his back foot too. The vet says he will be just fine and he is the biggest and strongest of them all. He is a little fighter. Daniel and Deena are taking him and Deena is already in love with him. I would love to keep one but now is not a good time. We are talking about breeding her again and then keeping one at that time. Their eyes are all open and they are starting to walk - so cute!
We are planning on travelling more while we are here. We haven't really been able to do a whole lot of that in the year we have been here and that year went by pretty fast so I imagine the next two will fly by as well. Next on the list of places to see is Croatia, Germany, Rome, Florence and Pisa and we have been talking to friends trying to plan a trip to Ireland as well, so that should be a lot of fun!
Sergio is on mids, he was on mids for a short time back in November and this is the first he has been on that shift since. Its not so bad. I like him being on swings the best but this one is ok. Neither of us likes days so its working out.
I am still doing Partylite, July was a busy month for me with it and I did pretty good. August is starting off slow but we will see what happens. I am not too worried about having a lot of shows. I will take what I get, its pretty fun so that is all that matters.
I am hosting a Tupperware party on Friday, that is right... the stuff your mom bought when you were a kid and still has because it lasts forever!! So if you want to place an order let me know! The sweet tall plastic cups are on sale, 12 of them for $24. $2 a cup - can't beat that!
As far as going back to the states... I have no idea when or if that will happen. There are some deployments on the calendar in the near future and so that will prevent Sergio from coming back. He would rather spend the money travelling over here in Europe anyway then spending it going back to the states... which is very smart actually. We only have 2 years left and the states aren't going anywhere. As much as I miss everyone back home we need to take advantage of being over here.
Well, I miss you all and can't wait to hear from you!
Check out all the great pictures...
I've been tagged!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I’ve been tagged!
Tagged!
I've been tagged!Once you have been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, or facts or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 new people to be tagged and list their names and why you chose them to be tagged.
*Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" on their profile and to read your latest blog.* Have fun!
1. God is my rock and without his strength and guidance I dont know where I would be in life.
2. I really wish we could go back home to Michigan, the vacation is over!
3. I can't wait to get pregnant again - yes we are trying.
4. I have never been on a cruise but that is something we are working on.
5. I have a slight OCD when it comes to locking doors, I will get up out of bed to make sure that I really did lock the car and front and back door and can't sleep until I KNOW I have.
6. I bred my dog for the first time and hopeing for summer pups.
7. I used to collect stickers, stuffed animals and pocahontas cards.
8. I used to breed and raise rabbits, had 50 at one time, also had 17 cats at once.
9. I got my associates in Corrections, planned on going for my bachelors but can't do that here!
10. I play the Sims 2 on my computer, my new Wii fit and am getting addicted to going to the pool and laying out!
1. Michelle - She tagged me and I had to add her. I miss you guys so much wish we could come back soon to visit. I am so glad we did that study group for Roe's class - otherwise we would have never met!!
2. Jodie - my cousin, she is a lot of fun to hang out with, I really need to come back home and have you do my hair!! I can't wait to come back and garage sale with you.
3. Tiffany - My neighbor, we became friend right away and I can't imagine anyone else living next door to me. You guys are awesome and I am so glad we met.
4. Bobbie - Met her when she got here even though our husbands knew each other before. You are great, always there to hang out and have some fun even if its just going to the BX to waste some time!
5. Emily - First person I met here in Italy, So glad we became friend. I can't wait to meet Baylie!! You are always there as well, especialy when I want to go get some taco bell! So glad you moved into our neighborhood. If you ever need anything when that little one is here, don't hesitate to call.
6. Nita Jo - We used to be neighbors until she found a loophole and got out of this place! I am so glad I walked across the street and knocked your door that day! This place just isn't the same without you. Hope we can cross paths again soon! I say you should come back to ship off your car, hehe.
7. Ruthie - Met on babygaga, you have been a good friend, inspiring me and pushing me to not lose hope or give up. I admire you for your dedication in this TTC game. I pray for you BFP!! You deserve it!
8. Deena - Met when she got here, I graduated with her husband. I am so glad that we met and then hung out a few more times so you got more than your first impression!! You guys are awesome, I LOVE Lillian so is such a monster but the best!! You are hilarious, never a dull moment with you. HAMMER TIME!
9. Angela - Met through Tiffany, her kids are great! So cute and funny. I can't wait for your Pure Romance party that will be some fun!! If you still want to get together sometime for a PP party we will have to arrange that, should be fun.
Last but DEFINATLEY NOT least....
10. Cortney - Met so very long ago. One of my longest standing best friends. We have been through thick and thin together and I am so glad that we are still friends today. Too many memories to list but you know them all. I can't wait to meet your little boy and hopefully we can get together soon!! Never a dull moment when we talk and usually the phone calls last a few hours!
I’ve been tagged!
Tagged!
I've been tagged!Once you have been tagged you have to write a blog with 10 weird, random things, or facts or habits about yourself. At the end you choose 10 new people to be tagged and list their names and why you chose them to be tagged.
*Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" on their profile and to read your latest blog.* Have fun!
1. God is my rock and without his strength and guidance I dont know where I would be in life.
2. I really wish we could go back home to Michigan, the vacation is over!
3. I can't wait to get pregnant again - yes we are trying.
4. I have never been on a cruise but that is something we are working on.
5. I have a slight OCD when it comes to locking doors, I will get up out of bed to make sure that I really did lock the car and front and back door and can't sleep until I KNOW I have.
6. I bred my dog for the first time and hopeing for summer pups.
7. I used to collect stickers, stuffed animals and pocahontas cards.
8. I used to breed and raise rabbits, had 50 at one time, also had 17 cats at once.
9. I got my associates in Corrections, planned on going for my bachelors but can't do that here!
10. I play the Sims 2 on my computer, my new Wii fit and am getting addicted to going to the pool and laying out!
1. Michelle - She tagged me and I had to add her. I miss you guys so much wish we could come back soon to visit. I am so glad we did that study group for Roe's class - otherwise we would have never met!!
2. Jodie - my cousin, she is a lot of fun to hang out with, I really need to come back home and have you do my hair!! I can't wait to come back and garage sale with you.
3. Tiffany - My neighbor, we became friend right away and I can't imagine anyone else living next door to me. You guys are awesome and I am so glad we met.
4. Bobbie - Met her when she got here even though our husbands knew each other before. You are great, always there to hang out and have some fun even if its just going to the BX to waste some time!
5. Emily - First person I met here in Italy, So glad we became friend. I can't wait to meet Baylie!! You are always there as well, especialy when I want to go get some taco bell! So glad you moved into our neighborhood. If you ever need anything when that little one is here, don't hesitate to call.
6. Nita Jo - We used to be neighbors until she found a loophole and got out of this place! I am so glad I walked across the street and knocked your door that day! This place just isn't the same without you. Hope we can cross paths again soon! I say you should come back to ship off your car, hehe.
7. Ruthie - Met on babygaga, you have been a good friend, inspiring me and pushing me to not lose hope or give up. I admire you for your dedication in this TTC game. I pray for you BFP!! You deserve it!
8. Deena - Met when she got here, I graduated with her husband. I am so glad that we met and then hung out a few more times so you got more than your first impression!! You guys are awesome, I LOVE Lillian so is such a monster but the best!! You are hilarious, never a dull moment with you. HAMMER TIME!
9. Angela - Met through Tiffany, her kids are great! So cute and funny. I can't wait for your Pure Romance party that will be some fun!! If you still want to get together sometime for a PP party we will have to arrange that, should be fun.
Last but DEFINATLEY NOT least....
10. Cortney - Met so very long ago. One of my longest standing best friends. We have been through thick and thin together and I am so glad that we are still friends today. Too many memories to list but you know them all. I can't wait to meet your little boy and hopefully we can get together soon!! Never a dull moment when we talk and usually the phone calls last a few hours!
Why did my son have to die?
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Why did my son have to die?
A mother asked President Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?"
Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die in Viet Nam?"
Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea?
Another mother asked President F.D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die at Iwo Jima?" Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on the battlefield of France?"
Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?"
And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son have to die near Valley Forge?"
And over 2000 years ago, a mother asked... "Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on that cross outside of Jerusalem?"
The answers to all these are similar -- "They each died so that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness and freedom." IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE...TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!
Why did my son have to die?
A mother asked President Bush, "Why did my son have to die in Iraq?"
Another mother asked President Kennedy, "Why did my son have to die in Viet Nam?"
Another mother asked President Truman, "Why did my son have to die in Korea?
Another mother asked President F.D. Roosevelt, "Why did my son have to die at Iwo Jima?" Another mother asked President W. Wilson, "Why did my son have to die on the battlefield of France?"
Yet another mother asked President Lincoln, "Why did my son have to die at Gettysburg?"
And yet another mother asked President G. Washington, "Why did my son have to die near Valley Forge?"
And over 2000 years ago, a mother asked... "Heavenly Father, why did my Son have to die on that cross outside of Jerusalem?"
The answers to all these are similar -- "They each died so that others may have life and dwell in peace, happiness and freedom." IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS, PLEASE, FEEL FREE...TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM !!!
Gets harder but then a little easier
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Gets harder but then a little easier
Category: Life
Well my birthday is coming up as most of you know and at this time I had planned to find out what the baby was going to be, boy or girl. I would have been almost 20 weeks along and showing pretty good. I would have been half way there. So as my birthday gets closer it gets harder to think how far developed the baby would have been and know that in less than 5 more months the baby would be here. God had other plans for us.
As the time goes by its been over two months ago that we found out we lost the baby (it feels like just yesterday at times) but as time goes by its gets easier because now we are trying again. The Dr wanted us to wait two cycles and here we are on the second cycle so this month will be the month we start trying. Last month we weren't trying but we weren't not trying either.
So soon September 3rd will come and go and hopefully we will be looking forward to another date to hold our baby. Like the song on my profile says "I can rest in knowing that Heaven is your home and its all you'll ever know".
This time around we have both agreed that we aren't going to tell anyone until about the 3rd month. I am sorry for all who are anxiously waiting. You all know me, it will be very hard to keep it a secret, so help me out and please don't ask! lol. We will see maybe we will change our mind again. I just wouldn't be able to stand another heartbreak like that.
Anyway, thats all for now, just some things I have been thinking about.
Gets harder but then a little easier
Category: Life
Well my birthday is coming up as most of you know and at this time I had planned to find out what the baby was going to be, boy or girl. I would have been almost 20 weeks along and showing pretty good. I would have been half way there. So as my birthday gets closer it gets harder to think how far developed the baby would have been and know that in less than 5 more months the baby would be here. God had other plans for us.
As the time goes by its been over two months ago that we found out we lost the baby (it feels like just yesterday at times) but as time goes by its gets easier because now we are trying again. The Dr wanted us to wait two cycles and here we are on the second cycle so this month will be the month we start trying. Last month we weren't trying but we weren't not trying either.
So soon September 3rd will come and go and hopefully we will be looking forward to another date to hold our baby. Like the song on my profile says "I can rest in knowing that Heaven is your home and its all you'll ever know".
This time around we have both agreed that we aren't going to tell anyone until about the 3rd month. I am sorry for all who are anxiously waiting. You all know me, it will be very hard to keep it a secret, so help me out and please don't ask! lol. We will see maybe we will change our mind again. I just wouldn't be able to stand another heartbreak like that.
Anyway, thats all for now, just some things I have been thinking about.
My new job
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
My new job
Hey everyone, well I have decided to become a PartyLite consultant. I know they have a reputation of being expensive but really they aren’t anymore expensive than Yankee Candle or Colonial. They are actually cheaper at $1each votive (you just have to get in sets of 12 but can get 2 differentscents since they come in boxes of 6). The great thing about Partylite is this. The wax is 100% paraphin wax so if you touch it or a child was to knock it over it won’t burn them!Its the same stuff they use at the spa on your hands or feet! Which also means they last longer and burn all the way down, not leaving any extra wax,you get all your money’s worth! They aren’t like most that just have thescent on the outside that burns off quickly (like Yankee candles tarts) Thescent lasts the life of the candle! Partylite candles also distinguish themselves when they knock over so lesschance of a fire. Their wicks are 100% cotton so they don’t get as hot andthey burn longer (some other brand candles have a little metal wire if youlook at the wick).You really get your money’s worth with Partylite, if I didn’t believe that Iwouldn’t start selling it. I have a lot of their products now. They makedecorating your house fun and easy and I burn them whenever I am home.If you are interested in ordering I am having my starter show on April 24th.So I would need to get an order from you before then. My starter show is theimportant one because it is what helps me get qualified. If you would liketo know what products I reccommend you can call me 810-xxx-5502 (statesidenumber) or email me. The great special for this month is if you spend $35 you can buy the reeddiffuser in any scent for just $12.95(reg. $39.95) OR you can get any 3 wickpetite candle for just $9.95 (reg. $33.50). The reed diffusers last for ATLEAST 5 months if not put in direct sunlight or on a heater. I have two andLOVE THEM. One in my downstairs bathroom that I can smell out in the halland spare bedroom and one in my bedroom upstairs that I can smell when Iwalk in the front door. These are really great for your office at work or ifyou don’t like to burn candles.Partylite also offers other things, their Well-being Spa collection of soapsand body scrubs and much more. Check out the catalog at my site athttp://www.partylite.biz/rachelhernandez and email or call me for anyquestions!! Also click on Specials to see Aprils specials.Remember anything you spend for this show goes straight to helping me getstarted. Thanks!Feel free to spread the word to your friends and family and help me out! Thanks.
My new job
Hey everyone, well I have decided to become a PartyLite consultant. I know they have a reputation of being expensive but really they aren’t anymore expensive than Yankee Candle or Colonial. They are actually cheaper at $1each votive (you just have to get in sets of 12 but can get 2 differentscents since they come in boxes of 6). The great thing about Partylite is this. The wax is 100% paraphin wax so if you touch it or a child was to knock it over it won’t burn them!Its the same stuff they use at the spa on your hands or feet! Which also means they last longer and burn all the way down, not leaving any extra wax,you get all your money’s worth! They aren’t like most that just have thescent on the outside that burns off quickly (like Yankee candles tarts) Thescent lasts the life of the candle! Partylite candles also distinguish themselves when they knock over so lesschance of a fire. Their wicks are 100% cotton so they don’t get as hot andthey burn longer (some other brand candles have a little metal wire if youlook at the wick).You really get your money’s worth with Partylite, if I didn’t believe that Iwouldn’t start selling it. I have a lot of their products now. They makedecorating your house fun and easy and I burn them whenever I am home.If you are interested in ordering I am having my starter show on April 24th.So I would need to get an order from you before then. My starter show is theimportant one because it is what helps me get qualified. If you would liketo know what products I reccommend you can call me 810-xxx-5502 (statesidenumber) or email me. The great special for this month is if you spend $35 you can buy the reeddiffuser in any scent for just $12.95(reg. $39.95) OR you can get any 3 wickpetite candle for just $9.95 (reg. $33.50). The reed diffusers last for ATLEAST 5 months if not put in direct sunlight or on a heater. I have two andLOVE THEM. One in my downstairs bathroom that I can smell out in the halland spare bedroom and one in my bedroom upstairs that I can smell when Iwalk in the front door. These are really great for your office at work or ifyou don’t like to burn candles.Partylite also offers other things, their Well-being Spa collection of soapsand body scrubs and much more. Check out the catalog at my site athttp://www.partylite.biz/rachelhernandez and email or call me for anyquestions!! Also click on Specials to see Aprils specials.Remember anything you spend for this show goes straight to helping me getstarted. Thanks!Feel free to spread the word to your friends and family and help me out! Thanks.
D&C's
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
D&C’s
If you have a weak stomach or can't stand reading about blood this isn't the blog for you to read. This is what happened to me and might be considered Too Much Information for some.
So most of you know what happened but for those who don't this is my story. After we found out on Feb. 11th that we had a miscarriage I had the first D&C on Friday the 15th. All went went, or so we thought. It took a long time to get out of the hospital because they wanted to make sure I could use the bathroom on my own before leaving. I guess they used a catheter and man I didn't know that made it hard to pee. So once I could finally go they let me leave.
5 days later I started bleeding bad. It started at church around 9pm. I went home and it slowed down. At about 1am it got much worse with a lot of blood clots. I started thinking about going to the ER but did not want to go to the Pordenone hospital because I heard so many bad things about it. The base hospital closes at night and weekends. So I told Sergio to go to bed and I would wake him if I thought I needed to go. I wanted to wait until the morning.
At 4am it got worse, the bleeding was about the same but now I was white as a ghost, I had taken 2 percocet and still felt the cramps. My legs began to become very weak and I had a hard time walking on my own. I began to shiver uncontrollably, my teeth were chattering so hard that they hurt. So I woke up Sergio and told him that we needed to go after some pushing from my mom and sister. So we went.
The translator met us there and they took me up in a wheelchair. Things are so weird there, but anyway, they did an ultrasound and the doctor was talking a lot and the translator said little so I don't know everything he said except that I had a lot of blood collecting in my uterus because the first D&C left behind some "matter" and it began to clot. My Dr had told me with the first one there was a chance of this happening since my uterus was shaped different it would be hard to get it all but he would do his best.
So they wanted to keep me there overnight and then first thing in the morning (it was 5am by this time) to do another D&C. He said that I could also chose to leave and wait to see if the hospital on base could do something for me but if I started bleeding again I could begin to hemorage and then would need it done ASAP. So I went home because I just don't trust them there. Plus they don't know what my Dr said about the shape of my uterus and if they screwed up then I can't have kids in the future. So I took my chances and went home. By this time I was feeling a little better, maybe because the bleeding stopped again and I was getting more blood back I don't know.
So at 7:30am I called the hospital on base and they told me to come right in. I did and got some blood work and another ultrasound and then they told me to come back at 1:45pm to get the second D&C (I had ate when I got home and they wanted to wait a little while). So I came back and ended up going in at 5pm since they had a serious case ahead of me. I don't remember much from the whole day since we were both up for almost 40 hours straight. I was able to use the bathroom right away and they let us leave faster because she thought I was "out of it" from not sleeping and not from the medication. It was from the medication but I didn't tell her that.
So afterwards, no real bleeding and not really any cramping. So I am hoping now that it is finally over and I can move on from here.
D&C’s
If you have a weak stomach or can't stand reading about blood this isn't the blog for you to read. This is what happened to me and might be considered Too Much Information for some.
So most of you know what happened but for those who don't this is my story. After we found out on Feb. 11th that we had a miscarriage I had the first D&C on Friday the 15th. All went went, or so we thought. It took a long time to get out of the hospital because they wanted to make sure I could use the bathroom on my own before leaving. I guess they used a catheter and man I didn't know that made it hard to pee. So once I could finally go they let me leave.
5 days later I started bleeding bad. It started at church around 9pm. I went home and it slowed down. At about 1am it got much worse with a lot of blood clots. I started thinking about going to the ER but did not want to go to the Pordenone hospital because I heard so many bad things about it. The base hospital closes at night and weekends. So I told Sergio to go to bed and I would wake him if I thought I needed to go. I wanted to wait until the morning.
At 4am it got worse, the bleeding was about the same but now I was white as a ghost, I had taken 2 percocet and still felt the cramps. My legs began to become very weak and I had a hard time walking on my own. I began to shiver uncontrollably, my teeth were chattering so hard that they hurt. So I woke up Sergio and told him that we needed to go after some pushing from my mom and sister. So we went.
The translator met us there and they took me up in a wheelchair. Things are so weird there, but anyway, they did an ultrasound and the doctor was talking a lot and the translator said little so I don't know everything he said except that I had a lot of blood collecting in my uterus because the first D&C left behind some "matter" and it began to clot. My Dr had told me with the first one there was a chance of this happening since my uterus was shaped different it would be hard to get it all but he would do his best.
So they wanted to keep me there overnight and then first thing in the morning (it was 5am by this time) to do another D&C. He said that I could also chose to leave and wait to see if the hospital on base could do something for me but if I started bleeding again I could begin to hemorage and then would need it done ASAP. So I went home because I just don't trust them there. Plus they don't know what my Dr said about the shape of my uterus and if they screwed up then I can't have kids in the future. So I took my chances and went home. By this time I was feeling a little better, maybe because the bleeding stopped again and I was getting more blood back I don't know.
So at 7:30am I called the hospital on base and they told me to come right in. I did and got some blood work and another ultrasound and then they told me to come back at 1:45pm to get the second D&C (I had ate when I got home and they wanted to wait a little while). So I came back and ended up going in at 5pm since they had a serious case ahead of me. I don't remember much from the whole day since we were both up for almost 40 hours straight. I was able to use the bathroom right away and they let us leave faster because she thought I was "out of it" from not sleeping and not from the medication. It was from the medication but I didn't tell her that.
So afterwards, no real bleeding and not really any cramping. So I am hoping now that it is finally over and I can move on from here.
I still love you...
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I still love you...
DEESTYLISTIC LYRICS
"I Still Love You"
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 1:]I never really got the chance to ever see you
But I dreamed you, your mom was happy along with me too
I wanted to raise you right give you things I didn't have
Now it's a memory of a time that I wish I had
But I can't be mad in the saddest dim the way
But the image of you is still there wen I lay
And I know your ears are wide open when I pray
That daddy's talking to you but he don't know what to say
I wanted to watch you grow a child of my own
Wanted to hear your voice and see your face when I got home
I was set to be have the guidance you would need
Now I have to dream in order to see you with me
Maybe you was a little girl who resembled your mom
Or my little son who looked up to papi
Either way my heart still melts at your very thought
And I still love you and that will never stop cause'
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 2:]Neveah Marie, Or Landin T
The begining of the search to find the man in me
But it wasn't meant to be at this point in time
It had me angry on the outside but crying inside
Dens I was ready me and your mother awaited
But someone above us both had reasoned to delay it
Maybe we were too young we'll never truly know
I tried to tell myself why but I really truly don't know
What could be so wrong about something so nice
Something so divine to come in my life but no
I would never dare to ever call u a mistake
But if so your a mistake that I can take
Our very first daughter that your mother could dress nice
Or that son of mine that I could of taught rhymes
But now it's all in thoughts that never came to be
But I still love you and when you're still the same to me uh
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 3:]I... guess it was time (it was time)I prepared my life (I prepared my life)And now I cry
Cus I... wasn't ready yet (wasn't ready yet)To say goodbye (to say goodbye)And now I wonder why
[CHORUS:]I never seen you(I never seen you)I never held you (I never held you)But I still love you until the day I die (but I'll still love you)I never sang to you (I never sang to you)I never cradled you (I never cradled you)But I still love you until the day I die (but I'll still love you)
**I heard this song and its just so touching. Download it if you want to really get the feel of it. I tried to find it to add it to my player but can't find it. Someone told me it was a song about abortion but I don't see anywhere in there that it was. It seems like a miscarriage to me.
I still love you...
DEESTYLISTIC LYRICS
"I Still Love You"
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 1:]I never really got the chance to ever see you
But I dreamed you, your mom was happy along with me too
I wanted to raise you right give you things I didn't have
Now it's a memory of a time that I wish I had
But I can't be mad in the saddest dim the way
But the image of you is still there wen I lay
And I know your ears are wide open when I pray
That daddy's talking to you but he don't know what to say
I wanted to watch you grow a child of my own
Wanted to hear your voice and see your face when I got home
I was set to be have the guidance you would need
Now I have to dream in order to see you with me
Maybe you was a little girl who resembled your mom
Or my little son who looked up to papi
Either way my heart still melts at your very thought
And I still love you and that will never stop cause'
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 2:]Neveah Marie, Or Landin T
The begining of the search to find the man in me
But it wasn't meant to be at this point in time
It had me angry on the outside but crying inside
Dens I was ready me and your mother awaited
But someone above us both had reasoned to delay it
Maybe we were too young we'll never truly know
I tried to tell myself why but I really truly don't know
What could be so wrong about something so nice
Something so divine to come in my life but no
I would never dare to ever call u a mistake
But if so your a mistake that I can take
Our very first daughter that your mother could dress nice
Or that son of mine that I could of taught rhymes
But now it's all in thoughts that never came to be
But I still love you and when you're still the same to me uh
[CHORUS:]I never seen you
I never held you
But I still love you until the day I die
I never sang to you
I never cradled you
But I still love you until the day I die
[VERSE 3:]I... guess it was time (it was time)I prepared my life (I prepared my life)And now I cry
Cus I... wasn't ready yet (wasn't ready yet)To say goodbye (to say goodbye)And now I wonder why
[CHORUS:]I never seen you(I never seen you)I never held you (I never held you)But I still love you until the day I die (but I'll still love you)I never sang to you (I never sang to you)I never cradled you (I never cradled you)But I still love you until the day I die (but I'll still love you)
**I heard this song and its just so touching. Download it if you want to really get the feel of it. I tried to find it to add it to my player but can't find it. Someone told me it was a song about abortion but I don't see anywhere in there that it was. It seems like a miscarriage to me.
God is great!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
God is great!
Let me just tell you that with everything that has gone on in the past two weeks I can't help but still feel so thankful. Of course I am not glad that I lost my baby but God has shown me through all of this just how strong of a person I really am with His help and that when I lean on Him Completley He will carry me. He has taught me to live even more by faith than I already did. After tonight I just prayed and thanked God for really lifting me up. Through this I have done some things that I didn't think I had the courage to do and I am really starting to see why God put us where we are today (here in Italy, in Ceolini).
Here is the story...
Well I want to thank those of you who have been praying for us and our church. For the first time I went out and invited a couple people to church.I went and asked Sgt Woods and his family if they would like to come to our revival meetings and they said they couldn't make it Tuesday night but they would come on Wednesday night. I went next door to our brand new neighbors and invited them. They said they had heard about the church but didn't know where it was. I also invited my friend Anna (she's part Italian and part Arabic, (Muslim background) she came with me on Tuesday night and Bobbie came with me on Tuesday night. I didn't know if Anna was enjoying it or felt uncomfortable (she has a hard time understanding some English). But she said she could understand the pastor and after she went to Pastors wife and told her she had a good time and wanted to come back and bring her fiance who isin the military.
So Wednesday (today) I walked to the Woods house and they weren't home, so me and Bobbie went next door and started talking to the new neighbors again and when I realized it was getting late (6:30pm) I said I should get going to church and asked them one more time if they would like to come. She said to her husband "I think we should go" He agreed. She said she has felt bad because the only time she has ever missed church was when she was sick and she has gone her whole life and comes from a Baptist background, her husband too, and said she heard about the church from a friend in Japan. Well Pastor Olsen was in Japan when in the Navy a while ago and apparently the people that her dad knew, pastored this church before Pastor Olsen and also knew Pastor. So they said they would follow me there. When we pulled in the Woodswere pulling out and they seen me and turned back around. They thought that they got the time wrong since there were only two cars there. Well I walked in church with 9 other people and everyone's face lit up. Alan (a young single guy at our church) said "You brought the whole neighborhood" and I said "Yeah actually I did, they are all my neighbors".
So I called Anna and she said they were on their way and almost there. A few minutes later they walked in.Pastor Lancaster preached a good message of salvation and hell. Atinvitation time he asked who knew that they were saved and going to Heaven by raising their hand. Then he asked who didn't know that if they were to die today if they would go to Heaven, or who was concerned about what would happen if they died. And he asked for them to simply look at him and when his eyes caught theirs for them to bow their heads again and I heard one Amen. At invitation time he made it clear that he didn't want to embarrass anyone and it might be a hard thing to do, to walk forward, but he said he promised that nobody would make fun of them and infact everyone would rejoice with them. I could tell nobody had walked forward when he kept extending the invitation, hoping that they would walk forward. Then he said "at least one maybe two people were concerned and I won't embarrass you and I won't come to you and ask you but if you are still concerned and would like me to know please just look up here one more time".
So I heard again at least one maybe two "Amen, ok" After the service Anna's fiance came up to me and said that he wanted to talk to Pastor Lancaster but he also wanted to have a ciggarrette and asked me which he should do first. So I told him togo ahead and go outside and maybe by then he would be done talking. He came back in and got with Pastor and the rest of us walked away. They stayed at the front of the church for a little while, the rest of us by the fire and then they all came to join us to roast hotdogs. I don't know what happened but Philip (Anna's fiance) was smiling a lot. I have seen him many times but he never smiled. They stayed for a little bit and then left.
Everyone else stayed afterwards for fellowship and it was really nice. Pastor kept thanking me for my hard work in inviting these people, but I know it wasn't me. It was God. I told him "I didn't do the hard work, I just asked, they did the hard work by coming somewhere new" He smiled. I know it had to really make their day to see so many new faces in one day. All week we haven't had too many people and before we all got there they probably didn't think many more would show up. 11 visitors in one day. It was a good day.Sergio really wanted to come but they made him go back to work tonight after he wasn't supposed to (he had a class in the morning). So he couldn't make it and was pretty dissapointed.Our new neighbors seem very nice and come from the same kind of church background as us and its so amazing that God could have put them anywhere and He put them right next door to me! The people who were supposed to move in there said they were going to take the house couldn't because his family decided not to come over here. So I was so glad to learn that about my new neighbors. They seemed to have a good time and I really think they will come back and hopefully attend regularly.
I am hoping and would like to ask you to pray for Anna and Philip as well. Pray that they will come back again.
I invited both the new neighbor, Tiffany and Dana (Sgt Woods wife) to come to our Tuesday night Bible studies at my house and sheseemed interested. Since they both live so close maybe they will get to come. I really hope so. Well thanks for all your prayers, I just wanted to give you all an update onwhats going on at little Calvary Baptist Church.
God is great!
Let me just tell you that with everything that has gone on in the past two weeks I can't help but still feel so thankful. Of course I am not glad that I lost my baby but God has shown me through all of this just how strong of a person I really am with His help and that when I lean on Him Completley He will carry me. He has taught me to live even more by faith than I already did. After tonight I just prayed and thanked God for really lifting me up. Through this I have done some things that I didn't think I had the courage to do and I am really starting to see why God put us where we are today (here in Italy, in Ceolini).
Here is the story...
Well I want to thank those of you who have been praying for us and our church. For the first time I went out and invited a couple people to church.I went and asked Sgt Woods and his family if they would like to come to our revival meetings and they said they couldn't make it Tuesday night but they would come on Wednesday night. I went next door to our brand new neighbors and invited them. They said they had heard about the church but didn't know where it was. I also invited my friend Anna (she's part Italian and part Arabic, (Muslim background) she came with me on Tuesday night and Bobbie came with me on Tuesday night. I didn't know if Anna was enjoying it or felt uncomfortable (she has a hard time understanding some English). But she said she could understand the pastor and after she went to Pastors wife and told her she had a good time and wanted to come back and bring her fiance who isin the military.
So Wednesday (today) I walked to the Woods house and they weren't home, so me and Bobbie went next door and started talking to the new neighbors again and when I realized it was getting late (6:30pm) I said I should get going to church and asked them one more time if they would like to come. She said to her husband "I think we should go" He agreed. She said she has felt bad because the only time she has ever missed church was when she was sick and she has gone her whole life and comes from a Baptist background, her husband too, and said she heard about the church from a friend in Japan. Well Pastor Olsen was in Japan when in the Navy a while ago and apparently the people that her dad knew, pastored this church before Pastor Olsen and also knew Pastor. So they said they would follow me there. When we pulled in the Woodswere pulling out and they seen me and turned back around. They thought that they got the time wrong since there were only two cars there. Well I walked in church with 9 other people and everyone's face lit up. Alan (a young single guy at our church) said "You brought the whole neighborhood" and I said "Yeah actually I did, they are all my neighbors".
So I called Anna and she said they were on their way and almost there. A few minutes later they walked in.Pastor Lancaster preached a good message of salvation and hell. Atinvitation time he asked who knew that they were saved and going to Heaven by raising their hand. Then he asked who didn't know that if they were to die today if they would go to Heaven, or who was concerned about what would happen if they died. And he asked for them to simply look at him and when his eyes caught theirs for them to bow their heads again and I heard one Amen. At invitation time he made it clear that he didn't want to embarrass anyone and it might be a hard thing to do, to walk forward, but he said he promised that nobody would make fun of them and infact everyone would rejoice with them. I could tell nobody had walked forward when he kept extending the invitation, hoping that they would walk forward. Then he said "at least one maybe two people were concerned and I won't embarrass you and I won't come to you and ask you but if you are still concerned and would like me to know please just look up here one more time".
So I heard again at least one maybe two "Amen, ok" After the service Anna's fiance came up to me and said that he wanted to talk to Pastor Lancaster but he also wanted to have a ciggarrette and asked me which he should do first. So I told him togo ahead and go outside and maybe by then he would be done talking. He came back in and got with Pastor and the rest of us walked away. They stayed at the front of the church for a little while, the rest of us by the fire and then they all came to join us to roast hotdogs. I don't know what happened but Philip (Anna's fiance) was smiling a lot. I have seen him many times but he never smiled. They stayed for a little bit and then left.
Everyone else stayed afterwards for fellowship and it was really nice. Pastor kept thanking me for my hard work in inviting these people, but I know it wasn't me. It was God. I told him "I didn't do the hard work, I just asked, they did the hard work by coming somewhere new" He smiled. I know it had to really make their day to see so many new faces in one day. All week we haven't had too many people and before we all got there they probably didn't think many more would show up. 11 visitors in one day. It was a good day.Sergio really wanted to come but they made him go back to work tonight after he wasn't supposed to (he had a class in the morning). So he couldn't make it and was pretty dissapointed.Our new neighbors seem very nice and come from the same kind of church background as us and its so amazing that God could have put them anywhere and He put them right next door to me! The people who were supposed to move in there said they were going to take the house couldn't because his family decided not to come over here. So I was so glad to learn that about my new neighbors. They seemed to have a good time and I really think they will come back and hopefully attend regularly.
I am hoping and would like to ask you to pray for Anna and Philip as well. Pray that they will come back again.
I invited both the new neighbor, Tiffany and Dana (Sgt Woods wife) to come to our Tuesday night Bible studies at my house and sheseemed interested. Since they both live so close maybe they will get to come. I really hope so. Well thanks for all your prayers, I just wanted to give you all an update onwhats going on at little Calvary Baptist Church.
Update: Blighted Ovum
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Update: Blighted Ovum
Here is the update. I went back to the Drs and he told me that my hcg levels went from in the 28,000'sto the 23,000's from Monday to Wednesday. So the Dr. confirmed that this was a miscarriage. He said that at 28,000 when he did the first ultrasound he would expect to see a heartbeat. He did another ultrasound just to make me feel more comfortable with his diagnosis and once again, there was just an empty sac. He said this is called a blighted ovum or now commonly called a early pregnancy failure. That is can cause you to have all of the symptoms of a regular pregnancy and your hcg levels will rise and then taper off before falling. When they start falling then usually the miscarriage process will begin which is what my body will most likely go through in the next couple of days. However, I went ahead and scheduled the D&C because I don't want to wait for that. Knowing that my baby didn't even being to form and grow at all is hard enough. I have waited 11 weeks and just want to be able to move on. If anyone is curious about a blighted ovum this is the site I found that best describes what happened to me. http://www.babycenter.com/0_blighted-ovum-early-pregnancy-failure_1355753.bc?articleId=1355753&page=1
Thanks everyone for all your support!
Update: Blighted Ovum
Here is the update. I went back to the Drs and he told me that my hcg levels went from in the 28,000'sto the 23,000's from Monday to Wednesday. So the Dr. confirmed that this was a miscarriage. He said that at 28,000 when he did the first ultrasound he would expect to see a heartbeat. He did another ultrasound just to make me feel more comfortable with his diagnosis and once again, there was just an empty sac. He said this is called a blighted ovum or now commonly called a early pregnancy failure. That is can cause you to have all of the symptoms of a regular pregnancy and your hcg levels will rise and then taper off before falling. When they start falling then usually the miscarriage process will begin which is what my body will most likely go through in the next couple of days. However, I went ahead and scheduled the D&C because I don't want to wait for that. Knowing that my baby didn't even being to form and grow at all is hard enough. I have waited 11 weeks and just want to be able to move on. If anyone is curious about a blighted ovum this is the site I found that best describes what happened to me. http://www.babycenter.com/0_blighted-ovum-early-pregnancy-failure_1355753.bc?articleId=1355753&page=1
Thanks everyone for all your support!
Love letter for our angel from Nita Jo
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Love letter for our angel from Nita Jo
When your mommie and daddy got the news they were so happyto have finally been blessed with a little miracle like you.Your mommy talked about you everyday, keeping up with every memoryin every possible way. Each week a new picture she took to show the world how fast there little angel was growing. I have never met someone so carefullwith what she did. You didn't get to taste pepsi or coffee because your mommiewas so thoughtfull of you. Your daddy had to leave not long after the news of you had comehe's in the air force and is a brave man. I know you would have grown to be so be so proud ofhim as he was of you. Your mommie and I are very good friends and I to fell in love with you from the very beginning. Then all the sudden something sad and tragic happend, God had calledyou back home to live with him. We all miss you so much already, but you will never be forgotten.God must have needed another angel to help light up his wonderfull beautifull night sky.Though your not with them anymore I know you will come daily and whisper I love you in your mommie and daddy's ear. I ask one simple thing of you, I know you are still quiet small but could you ask God to make you a special angel to help your mommie and daddy to get through this pain they never thought they would see? Be there at night when mommies up late thinking of you. Be there when daddy's at work thinking of you. Be there when it feels like noone else is.Be there when God blesses them with your brother or sister and help to calm and relieve allthere fears. Before I let you go I ask one last thing, please tell god thank you for sending you to be with them for the little time you were here bc to them you will always be loved and adored.I cant wait to meet you in Heaven one day and to see the smile on your mommie and daddy's face when they finally get to hold and see the little miracle they made!! Tell my dad I said hi and Ilove him, and tell God how we all cant wait to meet him.
LOVE,
Mrs. Nita Jo
Thanks Nita this means a lot.
Love letter for our angel from Nita Jo
When your mommie and daddy got the news they were so happyto have finally been blessed with a little miracle like you.Your mommy talked about you everyday, keeping up with every memoryin every possible way. Each week a new picture she took to show the world how fast there little angel was growing. I have never met someone so carefullwith what she did. You didn't get to taste pepsi or coffee because your mommiewas so thoughtfull of you. Your daddy had to leave not long after the news of you had comehe's in the air force and is a brave man. I know you would have grown to be so be so proud ofhim as he was of you. Your mommie and I are very good friends and I to fell in love with you from the very beginning. Then all the sudden something sad and tragic happend, God had calledyou back home to live with him. We all miss you so much already, but you will never be forgotten.God must have needed another angel to help light up his wonderfull beautifull night sky.Though your not with them anymore I know you will come daily and whisper I love you in your mommie and daddy's ear. I ask one simple thing of you, I know you are still quiet small but could you ask God to make you a special angel to help your mommie and daddy to get through this pain they never thought they would see? Be there at night when mommies up late thinking of you. Be there when daddy's at work thinking of you. Be there when it feels like noone else is.Be there when God blesses them with your brother or sister and help to calm and relieve allthere fears. Before I let you go I ask one last thing, please tell god thank you for sending you to be with them for the little time you were here bc to them you will always be loved and adored.I cant wait to meet you in Heaven one day and to see the smile on your mommie and daddy's face when they finally get to hold and see the little miracle they made!! Tell my dad I said hi and Ilove him, and tell God how we all cant wait to meet him.
LOVE,
Mrs. Nita Jo
Thanks Nita this means a lot.
Poem for those who have suffered loss
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Poem for those who have suffered loss
This is a poem written by a girl on www.babygaga.com her name is Tasha.
To those that have suffered Pain beyond words Losing a life That was so close to yours Angels before birth Gone before here No matter how long with us The pain is still there More than a life Was lost that day Hopes and dreams Painfully ripped away To those that have suffered pain no words can heal Just know that we're here We know how you feel
Here is another one that just got posted
What Makes A Mother? I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today I asked "What makes a Mother?" And then I heard Him say. "A Mother has a baby," This we know is true; I asked "But God can you be a Mother, When your baby's not with you?" "Yes, you can," He replied With confidence in His voice "I give many women babies, When they leave, is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, And others for the day. And some I send to feel your womb, But there's no need to stay." "I just don't understand this God I want my baby to be here." He took a deep breath and cleared His throat, And then I saw a tear. "I wish that I could show you, What your child is doing today. If you could see your child's smile, With the other children and say... 'We go to Earth to learn our lessons, Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom, Who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much, But I visit her every day. When she goes to sleep, On her pillow's where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, And whisper in her ear. Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.' "So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born here in My home, And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with Me, Until your lesson's through. And on the day that you come home they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother, It's the feeling in your heart it's the love you had so much of Right from the very start Though some on earth may not realize, you are a Mother, Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day and know that you are the best one!"
Poem for those who have suffered loss
This is a poem written by a girl on www.babygaga.com her name is Tasha.
To those that have suffered Pain beyond words Losing a life That was so close to yours Angels before birth Gone before here No matter how long with us The pain is still there More than a life Was lost that day Hopes and dreams Painfully ripped away To those that have suffered pain no words can heal Just know that we're here We know how you feel
Here is another one that just got posted
What Makes A Mother? I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today I asked "What makes a Mother?" And then I heard Him say. "A Mother has a baby," This we know is true; I asked "But God can you be a Mother, When your baby's not with you?" "Yes, you can," He replied With confidence in His voice "I give many women babies, When they leave, is not their choice. Some I send for a lifetime, And others for the day. And some I send to feel your womb, But there's no need to stay." "I just don't understand this God I want my baby to be here." He took a deep breath and cleared His throat, And then I saw a tear. "I wish that I could show you, What your child is doing today. If you could see your child's smile, With the other children and say... 'We go to Earth to learn our lessons, Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much, I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom, Who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, My Mommy set me free. I miss my Mommy oh so much, But I visit her every day. When she goes to sleep, On her pillow's where I lay I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, And whisper in her ear. Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.' "So you see my dear sweet ones, your children are okay. Your babies are born here in My home, And this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with Me, Until your lesson's through. And on the day that you come home they'll be at the gates for you. So now you see what makes a Mother, It's the feeling in your heart it's the love you had so much of Right from the very start Though some on earth may not realize, you are a Mother, Until their time is done. They'll be up here with Me one day and know that you are the best one!"
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